Another summer lesson

So my theme this summer has obviously been, "what can I learn from all of this?" Well, I've learned another one that is so incredibly obvious to many, but to me, coming from a long family list of intense overreactors, this is one lesson that I definitely needed to collide with! This is a lesson my daughter has actually taught me as she has inherited the Wehner "worry-free attitude." She is so lucky!
Raya is so good at letting things roll off. She is good at letting others take ownership of their behavior and worries. She is empathetic, as she likes to help others with solving their problems (and she is so good at it!,) but she does not take on their pain and grief. At her very young age of 5, she has figured out that people are responsible for their actions, choices and sometimes pain.
I however am extremely bad at this. In fact I don't know how to do this. I wear my feelings on my sleeve and am very effected by others' choices and behavior. This seems to make me vulnerable and so very crazy!
So yesterday I decided to really put Raya's lesson to practice. When Kellan yells or throws a fit, Raya whines or the two of them are fighting, I try not to react, instead I let it be their's. Yes, their choice to act like complete idiots is their choice. I absolutely do not want to take ownership of these behaviors. They are indeed not mine!
So what do I do instead? I breathe (while trying not to hyperventilate, b/c these behaviors still crawl deep under my skin,) walk away (sometimes scream into my pillow when I walk away,) then speak calmly if I feel that I do need to speak or do not speak at all and ignore (especially the whining or blaming me for something ridiculous piece.) And remind myself over and over by repeating the mantra, "This does not affect me personally, this moment shall pass. This behavior is not mine. I am compassionate without reacting..." over and over and over again.
It has stuck for two days, and I'll admit, these two days have been the most pleasant I've had in a long time.
I do not function well without "feeding my outdoor needs" as my dr. says, so a summer without climbing or biking outdoors is such a test for me. I don't want to fail, so I have to change my behaviors as well.
Sometimes it is a relieving feeling to not feel like I have to save everyone all of the time. Let their behaviors be theirs!